Everything went as expected.

So occupy oakland rioted, again. The general strike yesterday resulted in damage to stores, vandalism and mayhem. At least Men's Warehouse bowed to the .99% and was spared.

Thugs will be thugs I suppose.

The revolution has begun!

The revolution is upon us! Not the revolution that the marxist, communist, nazi goofballs from the infest wall street movement want, the hippie engine revolution. After the NYPD removed all the gas generators that were providing electricity to the squatter town, the realization hit that no one could update facebook without battery power. So the brilliant minds strapped little alternators to some stationary bikes. That charges a car battery which powers an inverter, which is hooked to a 120v AC to 9v DC transformer which powers something Steve Jobs built. Efficiency!
But, this can work directly towards propelling this project. If the hippies get used to making free electrons this way, then they might like it. Just like all the other crap the do that really sucks but the like it because it saves a polar bear or something. So once pedalricity gets to be a thing, we build large scale human powered electical stations and get them to do our bidding, er, save the planet.
"Oh yah William, you are doing a great job. Keep pedaling, I am going over here to watch the new Beavis and Butt-Head. You are a champion for mother earth."

Poop powered motorcycle story is full of......hot air.

So you may have seen this story floating through the intertubes earlier this month, a toilet trike powered by human poop is going on a month long tour of Japan. Well, no. A trike built by toilet company Toto, that extracts power from bio-mass sourced from local farms will tour the country to push said company's green iniatives. The toilet is just the seat and is non functional.
Now, while we here at The HEP applaud the advancement of hippie engine tech, the real story revolves around how green blogs fell over themselves to push the concept of human feces for energy. Most everytime I came across this story, it containted that same line of crap. No one seemed bothered to visits Toto's blog which states right off the git that Toilet Bike Neo DOESN'T RUN OFF POOP. Oh Well, whatever sells papers, er, digital ads.

Is it hot in here or is it just the liberals?

"Global warming" is not our fault and it is not even that warm. Shut it hippies!

Hey hippy, shut up and get on The Tiller!

From the depths of The Hippie Engine Project think tank, may we present "THE TILLER". This is the greenest, most economical solution to all of our energy needs now and in the future. In partnership with incarceration agencies and welfare programs around the country, THE TILLER will recycle waste humans into clean, renewable electricity for TV and microwave users.

How does it work? Glad you asked. The secret is the power source, unused humans. Primary power will come from the use of criminals. Instead of 'repaying their debt to society' by weight lifting, shanking and having relations, they will be actually repaying the debt by providing free electricity to law-abiding citizens who want to watch Venture Brothers.

To supplement the criminals, non-producers such as welfare recipients, hippies and homeless will be recycled to keep flat screens and A/C units humming!

The HEP is currently seeking a prison population to construct the working prototype. Stay tuned for info on the progress of this exciting technology!

In Texas, batteries are included!

This is BOB. BOB is the United States largest UPC (uninterruptible power supply). What does it supply you might ask, well the town of Presidio Texas. The residents of Presidio, a small town just across the Rio Grande from Mexico, got fed up with power transmission failures in a 60 year old line supplying the town and built this big ole' battery. When the power drops out, as it often does, the BOB holds the line until the Mexico grid gets patched in. For $25 million, BOB kicks out 4 megawatts for 8 hrs.

Cool. Now the bratty kids of Presidio won't have to stop playing X-Box when the power goes out. Sweet. Let's take this a step further. This is a perfect storage unit for the ultimate green power source, people! Tie this bad lad into "The Tiller" and make the criminal element repay their debt to society with free electricity.

via: Pop Sci

Hippies now using magic to make cars!

So, when science fails, hippies turn to magic! Here is a car that runs on this magic. According to DVICE, this car uses solar energy, wind energy and produces oxygen. How you may ask? Well, er, um, MAGIC! Me thinks selling magic could be quite lucrative. Hey, I have some magic beans to sell ya. Grows into a stalk that takes you above global warming so you don't have to worry about it at all! Great huh?

If science could produce any form of what this 'car' supposedly is, it would be worth noting. But, they would not put it in a car. Imagine huge power stations that aspirate oxygen from co2. That would be great! For right now, we have to let the trees do that for us. Magic, you have failed.

via: DVICE

Anvil Shooting is the Best Thing Ever!

"Eco-Friendly" Autos Behaving Badly.

This, ladies and gentlemen, may be the start of a gangland street fued over the supremecy of all "green" cars. Aparently, while the others were stopped at a signal of some sort, the silver danish Prius was so over come with envy due to it's own poor self image that it rammed the burnt umber Tesla Roadster under the Diesel TDI Toureg. We have no other information regarding injuries but from the looks of it the occupants should be fine.

If this is any kind of commentary on who is winning the green wars, it appears the diesel is on top.

[via] Jalopnik

Carbon Offsets, buy now on eBay!

Are you a hippie looking for a way to improve your Aura? Do you have a hippie friend with a birthday coming up and no idea what to get them? Might we suggest the Carbon Offset Bio-Pack! That's right, found on Facebook's ad column, you can buy this Earth saving product on eBay for $12.99! What a deal!

So, you might be asking yourself, 'what exactly is a Carbon Offset Bio-Pack'? Well, if we dissect the description on the eBay listing:

Utilizing a unique rapid photosynthesis process discovered as a virtual miracle of science, the Carbon Offset Bio-PackTM actually converts carbon dioxide emitted by cars, factories and other big oil interests into pure, fresh oxygen WITHOUT consuming electricity and other energies that contribute to global warming.
With minor maintenance, your Carbon Offset Bio-PackTM units will actually increase production of oxygen the longer they are sustained. Can be used indoors or out. Requires a very small amount of water to continue processing.

Hmm, lets think about this...photosynthesis, converts CO2, requires water...what could it be? Seeds, it has to be seeds. 13 bucks for some tomato seeds or whatever. What I really like about this is that some capitalist is making money off the sky is falling eco-freaks. Bravo, keep up the good work.