Not all cartoons rot your brain. State funded schools might.

Need a break from the liberal media?  Crawl on over to redplanetcartoons.com for a weekly dose of conservatism.  Above is one that really hit home with the HEP team.

Billy Mays 1958-2009

This Sunday we lost a man who stood as a guide and testament to the American Dream.  Billy Mays, pitchman and infomercial king has passed on.  The cause of death is not known yet.  At a mere 50 years of age, it was far too soon to see a man who, only within the last decade watched his years of working fairs and boardwalks pay off.  Most recently Billy Mays took us behind the blue shirt with his show "Pitchmen" on Discovery channel.  A family man and a supporter of those with big dreams Billy Mays will be missed.  

Average American: Reduce your carbon footprint, kill yourself!

According to a study by MIT in 2008, every American, even the homeless, destitute, garbage eating ones have a higher average 'carbon footprint' then the median average of the world. At 8.5 tons of 'CO2', the average base carbon emissions of any American is over twice the world average at 4 tonnes.

So what does all this mean? Well, it means two things as we at HEP see it. The most obvious is that the aborigines in the far flung corners of the world are not pulling their weight in the industrial revolution and making the rest of us look bad. We in the USA have a solid infrastructure of first responders, police, public transportation and utilities to enjoy, making us look bad. Mud huts it is then, I suppose.

The second and by far not least important issue this study brings up is that fact that if you are an 'Eco Warrior' in America, the best thing you can do for your cause is kill yourself. If you are dead then you are no longer part of the problem and mother earth will give you some pixie dust in whale heaven or something. One could argue that a dedicated tree hugger could have lots of barefooted hippie babies to dilute the average. But that would be futile and wrong as babies are just oxygen burning shit factories and 'The Man' would tax them to build more power plants so they can play video games.

So, if you want to save the Earth in America, kill yourself.

Cap & Tax - The Truth

The sky is falling and now we have a speedometer!

NYC has yet another reason to panic, a brand new digital carbon dioxide counter. Now, every morning commuters along 7th avenue get to be bummed out by the very fact that they exist. Just breathing means more CO2 in the air.

So, this 70 story blame machine must be free of its own debt to the Earth right? Well no, not really. See, it uses 'low' energy lighting which is spin for 'still uses some juice' and it's on the grid. But it has the grid thing covered. Yah get this, Carbon Offsets! Apparently from Europe too, we wouldn't want to horde all the carbon offsets for America, they need to trick companies out of money have trees planted across the pond too.

"But, it tells us all how much CO2 we are putting into the air!"

Well, no, it doesn't, not really. According to none other then Newsweak , the numbers on the ticker are bullshit. Yah, some 'advisers' at MIT came up with an algorithm that approximates the CO2 in terms of bad things that they think might happen. The Goreists don't know if they are coming or going.

Bottom line, I think this thing should sense what is in the air and react to it. If they are going to pull this stunt then why not put a PPM (parts per million) sniffer in the board and just sample the air quality in Times Square? It would have the same effect. Then to contrast, upload data from Mammoth caves in Kentucky which has some of the purest air in the U.S.

In reality I just want to roll up under the sign in a stinky diesel rig and watch the board peg as I pump black smoke into it. Cause I'm a sicko but, at least I am not a hypocrite.

Read this: In case of Zombies..or Hippies.

At a certain point in time, we all have to evaluate our own ability to survive. Most people limit this assessment to whether or not they have enough fuel to reach Starbucks and snag a $10 coffee, but those of us that tend to keep our knives sharp and our flashlights handy take it a step further. For your consideration, the Hippie Engine Project offers 'The Zombie Survival Guide' by the current master of all things undead, Max Brooks. In this unassuming manual, all the information needed to understand, evade and destroy masses of marauding ghouls is contained. From physiology to patterns of behavior to weapon selection, this simple book will give you a fighting chance of surviving the apocalypse.

And that is where the paths of zombie knowledge and hippie engine tech cross, a catastrophe by any other name is still an apocalypse. Be it caused by a virus that renders the human brain independent of oxygen or liberal media that renders a weak mind independent of thought the tactics are the same. It can be argued that a horde of hippies will be more dangerous then a horde of undead as they can run, communicate with each other and their victims, a fate many consider worse then death.

So, don't be a victim, be a survivor. Own and know 'The Zombie Survival Guide' and be ready for the Obamalypse.

The great masses of the people... will more easily fall victims to a great lie than to a small one.
Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)

Introducing the 2012 Pelosi Gti SS/RT Sport Edition! Huzzah, GM is saved.

Have no fear, our leaders have told us what we want to buy in a car and here it is! It meets all government standards known to man, except for the minimum speed limit. Enjoy!

Deep Thoughts

Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it was once like in the United States where men were free.
Ronald Reagan