Average American: Reduce your carbon footprint, kill yourself!

According to a study by MIT in 2008, every American, even the homeless, destitute, garbage eating ones have a higher average 'carbon footprint' then the median average of the world. At 8.5 tons of 'CO2', the average base carbon emissions of any American is over twice the world average at 4 tonnes.

So what does all this mean? Well, it means two things as we at HEP see it. The most obvious is that the aborigines in the far flung corners of the world are not pulling their weight in the industrial revolution and making the rest of us look bad. We in the USA have a solid infrastructure of first responders, police, public transportation and utilities to enjoy, making us look bad. Mud huts it is then, I suppose.

The second and by far not least important issue this study brings up is that fact that if you are an 'Eco Warrior' in America, the best thing you can do for your cause is kill yourself. If you are dead then you are no longer part of the problem and mother earth will give you some pixie dust in whale heaven or something. One could argue that a dedicated tree hugger could have lots of barefooted hippie babies to dilute the average. But that would be futile and wrong as babies are just oxygen burning shit factories and 'The Man' would tax them to build more power plants so they can play video games.

So, if you want to save the Earth in America, kill yourself.